do you know that I waited?

All these while.

. Argh. I don't know what already. :(

Fly, as far.

Tuesday, Humid, Night.

Attachment's ending, nothing much interesting happened. Trying my best to figure out uncertainties.

Here, a long story, for you. Have fun. (:

""Don't go." She moaned from underneath the covers.

"No, I have to go. Remember, it's called work, it pays the bills."

He pulled himself to sit up in the bed with the sheets covering his naked body.

She pulled her arms around his chest.

Putting all her weight on his chest she pulled herself into a sitting position and started to nibble on his neck.

She tried to tempt him to take the day off.

As much as he wanted to take the day off and spend the morning making love to her he knew he had to go to work.

As much to his dismay he pulled a towel over his waist and headed for the bathroom.

Need some company?"

He heard her voice calling to him from the bed.

He knew that if she joined him he would be tempted even more to stay with her.

She didn't have to worry about getting up; she worked at night in the club.

Unlike her, he had to get up in the morning for work.

A little shower couldn't hurt and he wouldn't be seeing her until dinner.

But if she did join in he wouldn't be able to leave the apartment.

"I think I should do this wash alone."

He started his shower as she slipped into a sweet dream of what the night could bring to them.

It didn't really bother her that he wouldn't let her join him in the shower, or that he refused to take the day off.

She knew he did have to work and so did she.

Still, he said nothing to her, nothing at all about what the day was.

It was their 4-year anniversary and he had said nothing.

Maybe he was going to surprise her, but it wasn't like him to have surprises.

As much as her heart wished he would have something special for the evening, she knew he had probably forgotten.

Four years together and nothing really special, God knows she surprised him enough.

Nothing was different except how he would seduce her.

Oh, she loved that, but it wasn't enough.

Not to mention she wouldn't mind making a bigger commitment, but not that he was never going to ask her. The idea was too big and so was the decision for him.

It was the "forever" part that got to him.

Still, she was happy that he kept the relationship going.

Sometimes she feared that she loved him more than he loved her.

11am with bowl of frosted flakes and a Beatles CD playing "I'm So Tired" in the background she sits waiting for him to call her and talk for an hour.

It always surprised him how she always woke up before him on his birthday.

She had signs made and posted on the walls and even in the mirror.

She had already presents out and a coffee cake.

Every year he would wake up and there she would be sitting, with a cup of tea, awake at the table for him.

There were times he waited for her.

Some nights he would go to the club just to hear her sing but others he had something else planned.

He would wait for her at night.

They barely saw each other except at night or during the weekends.

That's why they both cherished the nights they spent together.

He really did love her. He knew she thought he didn't love her as much as she loved him, but it wasn't true. He wasn't good at showing that he loved her.

She showed it by leaving him little notices or calls and sometimes she would pick something up for him just because she wanted to.

He didn't know what he would do without her being there in the morning, without trying to get him sleep in with her.

She had told him that he was her smile and that without him she wouldn't have a reason to smile.

But he saw it differently, he couldn't stand to not see her smile, it drove him crazy.

He would walk to the ends of the earth to find a cure for her when she's depressed.

But now living with him she wasn't depressed as much.

He loved her smile and he couldn't stand it not being with her in the morning.

***** "He hasn't called or said anything?"

"Nothing, I don't know if I'm supposed to do something for him again or what." "Well did you get him something for your anniversary?" "Of course! Do you think I should remind him?" "I say wait, you never know what he could come up with." "It's not like him to have surprises." "I know but he might have something. Just don't tell him yet." "I've already decided what I'm doing tonight at the club. I'm leaving him a message that I want him to be there at the club. Then when I see him there I start singing our song." "That is so cute! Here, hold him for a second. My arms need a rest." She took the baby in her arms and held him carefully as she rocked him softly to sleep. "You know, we'd love to baby-sit. Just call us, if you can't reach me at home just call my cell phone. I don't go a lot of places, maybe to get groceries every now and then." "Thanks but I have to hold on to him right now. In a couple of months maybe but he needs to be with just his mommy now." "I can't believe you're a mother. I just never thought I'd be holding your kid before I was even married." "Well don't be too upset. You know we are 28, almost 30." "Oh God, I'm so excited." "I just need to rest."

While rocking the baby she started singing "Lullaby" by Billy Joel and soon mother and son were fast asleep.

She laid the baby carefully in his crib and pulled a blanket over the mommy.

She just sat down and watched them sleep.

They had been friends for God knows how long.

She remembered when they would break out into musical numbers in the middle of the street and laugh and pretend they could dance.

Now she had a baby with a loving husband and everything a woman wants at their age.

Still they couldn't go out the same way but they were older now and more mature.

She was still lonely.

She found herself going to visit her friends and their families while she was still dating.

Wanting a family so much she just sat there and waited for the mother and son to wake up thinking if she would ever be as lucky.

***** Hun,Please come to the club tonight. I'd like you to be there while I'm still working.Love

She probably wanted to celebrate while he had his own idea for celebrating the day. He knew well it was their 4-year anniversary.

They hadn't gotten married 4 years ago, still dating each other.

They hadn't met on 4 years ago; they knew each other for years.

No, 4 years ago he saw her at the club and bought her a drink after work.

It was their first real date 4 years ago.

Being old friends and not seeing each other in a while he was caught by her voice and he saw her smile.

That smile seemed to almost put him in a trance.

About 2 years later they decided to move in.

Part of it was because they wanted to move to a new level; also she needed a place to live.

Ever since they have been together and shared everything.

She even let him eat the last of the mashed potatoes sometimes.

Potatoes were her favorite and by letting him finished them off showed she loved him a lot. This made him feel special. Still he would leave her little snacks of pudding in the fridge. She also loved pudding. He felt he had to get her some even when she didn't ask him. Every day at his lunch break he would pick up a package of snack packs for her.

By the next day the six-pack would be gone.

Placing the snack packs in the refrigerator he decided to shower and change before he went over to the club. ***** As she sang she waited to see him.

She kept an eye out for him and it took him a while to get there.

But when she saw him she suddenly lit up and the song got brighter with more meaning.

Once the song was done she whispered over to the band about the plan she had told them weeks in advance. "This one goes out to my boyfriend of four years today, this is What A Wonderful World." As she sang she kept her eyes on him as he watched her with loving eyes. It was almost like the words were written for them. Sure it wasn't really a love song but it was their song and it showed how the world looked in her eyes when she was with him. Once the instrumental interlude came on she motioned him to get on the dance floor. She walked off the stage and they just started dancing. She loved to dance with him; it was the sweetest thing in the world to her. Nothing could've been better than to just dance with him. She whispered in his ear, "Happy Anniversary." He just kept on holding her as they moved around the dance floor. She didn't want to move but the instrumental part was almost finished. She pulled apart from him and finished the song up front. When it was done she was finished for the night. They would have dinner and then go to bed. She tried to get off the stage but he got up there with her and told her he had something to say. She just stood away from the mike as he talked into it.

"Usually I don't do these type of things, least of all in public. I have been lucky enough to be with this lovely woman for 4 years. As a matter of fact this was where we had our first date. For two years now we've had to share everything, even the bathroom. But as we all know sometimes just sharing an apartment, after time, isn't enough. We need more in life. We need to share more. So that's why I'm up here tonight in front of all you people to finally pay my lovely girl-friend back for putting up with me all these years."

As he said the last words he pulled a black velvet box out of his coat pocket. Her heart almost skipped a beat. He opened it up to reveal a diamond ring. As he held it out to her he said, "Will you marry me?" The words slipped out of his mouth almost too quickly, she could see he was nervous. But she knew now that it wasn't commitment that was scaring him, it was the fear of losing the relationship they had at the time. He was afraid she wouldn't want to stay by his side forever, so he left the question hidden. With her hands cupped over her mouth and water filled eyes she managed to say yes. It was the biggest surprise she had ever gotten. Once she said yes his face changed, it was calm again. When someone is in love sometimes you can see him or her sort of glowing and there's no way of hiding it. Well, now the two were glowing as they were in each other's embrace.

Moral of the story: There's crocodile @ Ubin !

p.s. you asked me don't, but how could I? It's tough and impossible !

Rise & Falls.

Monday, 2200, Windy.

It has been days, since I last contacted my parents, younger brother.

It has been days, since I ask about my grandparents.

It has been days, since the last time I spend some quality time at home.

Yes. Definitely & for sure. It feels like years since the last time we met.

Maybe not for you, but yes, I feel that way.

"oh boy, why you like that? Is it worth it?

Yes, I have given my best shot."

Tunnel, darkness.

It has been a long time folks. Been busy with life.

Mainly attachment, which eats up a huge part of my life.

Yes, back with all the rantings.

Recently, I slow down the pace of my life, paying attention to all the small details.

Afterall, realised that it's all the tiny details that matter.

I have been living a rush, fast-paced life.

It's time to be more, specific, and clear minded. Believe it or not, I know what I want.

Just that, how to execute, how to achieve.

Aw god. I don't know how to continue.

HAHA. Rusty english. But nevermind. As long as we don't give up, there's hope, there's a wayout.

[Hey same to you student!]

Anyway, shall continue tomorrow, when my mind is more, organised. Night world. (:

thanks for those who have been visiting this dusty place. Greatly appreciate it.

"Why do birds suddenly appear

Every time you are near?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky

Every time you walk by?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you."

Fate, decide for me. I'll leave it to you.

Uh.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Land Of The Lost

Ghosts Of girlfriend's past.

First time marathon till so hard.

HeavyHeavy Head And Ache.

But really enjoyable, so long did'nt really go out with them.

Crapherecrapthere everywhere crapcrap.

SAY WANT TO DIET. THEN STILL EAT.

But how to resist you tell me.

First Class Toilet.

More to come. Stay tuned ! (:

Hee?

Gonna Flunk It. (:

Treasure you all the most, afterall. (:

Throughout the days I had, you all guided me, worked along with me, and helped me, not only in terms of delegates, or rather, in my life too. I couldn't ask for anymore better team, than what I had. Looked through all the photos that we have taken through the whole year, I realised, I gained much more than I sacrificed. You all are the ones that standby me, though there were people who trying to bring us down, to be honest, without you all, there wouldn't by any success in any of the events. All the wonderful moments that we spent together, reminds me of the first time I set foot in Singapore, I was so helpless, and till now, I'm proud to say, to be able to be working hand in hand with u guys, actually gave me strength to be more persistent, and stay strong thoughout the year. From strangers, to friends, to a family that I can't bare to leave. Though we will be going onto different pathway of life soon, but I truly hope that, each of us will remains in each other's heart, at least for manymany years down the road. Hate to say this, it's time to move on, from this stage that gave me most warmth that I could ever ask for, to another stage of life. But I have to say that, I learnt alot. Those experiences that so precious, that can't possibly learn through daily lifes, and only with challenges.

For the little appreciation gift from nurul and me, hope that it will be the one that recall the tiny pieces of memories that we once had together, as a team, as a family. At least, it is the very least thing that we can do for you all. If I'm given another chance to choose again, I would say, definitely, these are the people, that I'm comfortable with, that are efficient enough, and they are the ones, and only ones, that I'm willing to work with, ever again. The chemistry in between, can never be exchange for anything else. If anyone ever ask me again, like what Mr rashid asked me, what is the greatest achievement so far as a chairman, without hesitation, I would say it's the team of wonderful people, that gave me the feeling of being part of the them, and the tight bond that I would never forget. Forgive me, if I have been rude or unreasonable at any point of time, I'm really not aware of it, and really sorry, great apologies for it k?

Lastly, I know I hardly say this, but, just let me say this once, just for the last time, I do treasure the nine of you, the birthday celebrations and outings we had, the silly laughters that we once had, I could only conclude that, I Love You All deep deep,and deeper, Nurul, Amy, Ling, Pris, Melisa, Ning, Abdullah, Abu & Khai (quoted from Ling! ). Just hope, our friendships will last through, even after we graduate, even after 20 years down the road. Will always remember the great moments, and do hope each and every of us, have a bright future ahead. The nine of you, will remain inside me, surely, for a long time. (:


Nine:
"kkkk, it's time to break free from the small-eyes's irritating voice, that haunted me for 1 whole year. Woo-Hoo ! (: "

woots!

Labour day, stayed at home, couchpotato day + supper @ changi village (Jaguar siol).

Went out 12am, Winning Eleven at Josh's house.

Just got back.

Not bad, at least get in touch with friends which I seldom meet since we drifted apart.

HS life, so far so normal, nothing much.

Lose something, gain much things I guess.

Time to spend more time with people whom I neglected for the past year.

Afterall, just left with few months to go before PRCP.

Oh alibaba, just the thought of it, makes me shrink.

It's 3.39am now, sudden urge to blog, but yet nothing much to say. Haha.

Well, plan for the following weeks or even, months, dietdietdiet.

Which I failed to do so, as usual. (:

Have to stay away more from KFC. Urgh.

Time to sleep, time to get a haircut.

Yeahyeahyeah.

Lastly, hope the mexican swines stop having flu, fullstop. (:

For those that are sick currently, take good care of yourself !

lalala.

Total Failure.

Great disappointment, for the past year.

Grateful for all the joy though, will remember it. (:

First Fly.

Will be away for 2 weeks.

Mixed feeling,scared happy excited worried.

Good luck u peeps.

Till we meet again friends! (:

Hopefully, everything goes smoothly.

Changes.

I don't know where to start off from.

Changes in life, emotions.

Just hard to describe.

Life's so short. Treasure it. Do whatever is left to be done.

When can I break free?

Going off to India, followed by FOC, and Year 3.

Hope to be able to commit more in life.

Changes please. More initiative in your life.

Take care all. (:

The Greatest.

happy birthday, daddy.

Thankyou For Everything that u (gave) giving me.

Loves.

Who Sia.

Year 2009

First Saturday, Windy & Sunny.

Aloha! Hm. It's saturday today, and 3rd day of 2009.

Been quite busy starting of the year, and yet, lots of thoughts running through my mind.

Tons of worries, what a way to start a brand new year.

Oh well, bring it on. (:

So. How'd I spent my New Year Eve?

quite simple actually. Resting at home due to some flu + mild fever + dizzyness.

But, still managed to went out chilled and countdown with the gang.

Well, I can only say, either I'm getting older and older, or the atmosphere is getting from bad to worse,

Counting down for a fresh year, seems to be more & more meaningless, to me at least, maybe cuz I don't really

wish to grow up I guess.Yeehaa.

New Year Eve: Steamboat @ home. Gang came over, and destroy every single thing in my house.

They're not much difference than small kids lah! THEY BROKE MY COUSIN'S SWORD AND I GOT SCOLDED FOR YOUR INFO.

I'm not going to host any event in my house again! haha. Never! All the plate-washing,Cleaning all the utensils used, can send me straight to hell man. And I starting to feel like a maid. Oh, and without pay, free labour.

After Steamboat/ Havoc, went to downtown East to countdown. Threetwoone, yay. And went to chill somewhere nearby. Played some daredevils games, and got high. lol.

Good luck In National Service bro. Some obscene daredevil actions. It's so-not-the-usual-me.

The Bonds.

Shagged.

To end this, I love u all lovely people, who brighten up my 2008. Ups And Downs, We will go through it together, as a team, beloveds. You know who u are. Taptap on your shoulder, yes u may. (:

And I'm sorry, if I have been harsh, or unreasonable, or even caused some unhappiness, I would be more than willing to apologise face to face. Don't hide it all in. Speak out. Promise I will correct my flaws. (:

my new year resolution? I want to be richer. haha. and get better grades. typical wishes.

Overall, '' To Be A Better Man- Robbie Williams. '' (:

OUT TO SHOP . 'what u want for bday kingkong?'

Life's Changing.

Wedsneshday, MidNight, hot&humid.

Trying hard to pick up myself from being lazy, and abandon the days of being a couch potato 24/7, and trying hard not to get scolded by aunt, to keep the mattress the moment I opened my eyes in the morning. But, apparently, I only sleep when it's already morning? 5am to 6? guh. Will heed the advice, no doubt about it, have to!

Yesterday-yesterday, had a mass meeting. After that, hanged out with the beloveds, at town.

Caught up with each other, it feel like ages since we last met. Had twilight @ Cine, and it's the second time for some of us, aiyo, Edward-something's so hot, is the reason.

"My hair resembles his." poke my waist.

And, the usual updating each other, gossiping, dinner at Cahaya, searching for XL where obama feels inferior, u think I don't ah! haha. just hilarious with them around. All laughed at me somemore.

Here's the story:

Aunty @ FarEast Cahaya Restaurant came to me while we prepared to order our meals.

Aunty: No hot drinks ya boy.

Me: Teh Ais.

Aunty: No more hot drinks.

Me: Ya, I want Teh Ais.

Figure out what's wrong with it? If u didn't, we're the same species, and Big High-5 !

Oh, for a moment, I wondering why the heow there's no hot water in the kitchen of Cahaya, or they just simply lazy to make the drinks. =S Anyway, the food's not that, good.

Today, or rather, the day before, another outing with fy, xl and hz.

Browhaus[lols]-shopping around central area-Mission: Mphosis Vest [S]-Fish & Co.-

-Mission: Mphosis Vest[S] Part 2 - West Area- Tampines Ajisen.

It has been fun, of course, with friend that I seldom talk to in school, as in never really get a chance to, she's veryvery friendly by the way, and apologies to everyone if I'm being too quiet as I'm always out of topics to start a conversation.haha. Saw ""Useful"", with Lynn, @ citylink, and she's still as blur as ever. lols.

Food, food, food. okay, I declare that, It's my first time in Fish&Co, yeah I know, maybe, because I'm not local and pretty of a caveman? Pretty good excuse. Anyhoo, the food's not bad, baked salmon, shall try swordfish collar next time, as recommended, and hopefully seafood platter nextnext time ! And girls, stop eating salads and vegies, pamper yourself with great food and only think of what to do, IF you gain-ED weight. haha. It's quite torturing, to look at both of you being a vegetarians, while the two man-eaters in front, munching nonstop.

'Eat Before You Die, Just Do It, Life's Good'

'Eat olzo die, dun eat olzo die, might as well eat epily'

My Theory , that's why my bmi getting higher. Bahbahbah.

Ohya, fy being approach by a so-called, model-hunter, those from modelling company, hunting for potential models, on the street ! From head to toe, hm, ya, you got the potential lah, fingercrossed. haha. and stop the sudden ambush you self-proclaimed Ong Bak, The hulk [tear the shirt upon flexing muscles] , before I bash you up with wing-chun.

And, a big raa-raa, i couldn't really recognise you when you walk towards me. I immediately put my head down pretending I never see you, as i thought u're a stranger. As in seriously, though I'm a big fat liar, -.-, but from all the attentions u're getting, u're improving! keep it up felicia kong. (: [see, u're featured in my blog, so be honoured and happy about it, and glad to see you after all the improved changes, urm, maybe not so, due to the state of the aftermath disaster of the foreign object to you, 'The Heels'. uhhlala.

Now, shall get some sleep, and today's new year eve.

Enjoy yourself to the fullest, and let's welcome two-doubledonuts-nine together with a big smile on the face, you cool pricks ! (: Hope it would be a great and memorable day for you. Cheers.

Here's the overdue photos taken back home, urr, hometown :

Opposite my house, and it's really a jungle-liked mountain. I'm not lying.

Left: Mountain
Right: My home
Man, I missed the days years back, when we built our own hideouts up the mountain and spent great times there, and all the scoldings for being overstayed on the mountain, I missed everything, brothers.


This is it.

Shall end it with Fried kway teow. Shall not elaborate more.

Eh you, your saliva, ain't you drooling?

Responsibility.

Wedsnesday, Rainy.

Back From Malaysia.

A fruitful trip. Enjoyed for the few days over there.

Meet Up with Old friends, and I meant, good, olden days buddies.

Updating each other of what you're doing, and plans for the future.

Glad that some of them are moving up, have a clearer idea of the next big step.

Food is still marvelous down there, and had some nutritious meals prepared by mum.

Photos will be up soon, as I can't get the bloody pictures up the net. Don't know why too.

Christmas eve, time to go out, and hope to have a unforgettable christmas eve, an unusual and memorable ones. Cheers. (:

A real, home sweet home.

Wedsnesday, Midnight, Windy.

Going back in 5 hours time. Mixed feelings I would say.

Waited so long for this moment to come, to visit my family, yet, now feeling abit reluctant.

Well, let's see how it goes when I'm back there. Hope it will be a brand new chapter.

Done with quite, a lot to be exact, shoppings.

2 jeans, 1 tank top, and a pair of shoes.

As there's christmas sale all around !

cant stop cant stop.

Shopped for early new year clothes too, as part of the excuse for spending money.haha.

Attachment's over, it has been a few days.

Quite fruitful.

Yet will be missing the great time I had there with my friens and the staffs.

For those who having attachment, best wishes.

Christmas wish or CNY wish : change the bushy-hairstyle on my head. And cut down on number appeared on weighing scale. but i just cant stop eatingand eating.sleepsleepsleep.

recently, really wanted to find an understanding hairstylist, as in he must know the natural attribute of my hair(curly and messy).

Been to quite a few salons, and all failed.

They didn't realise that once I perspire like madman, my hair will totally go flat, and whatever style would be gone. Probably will rebond fringe, or dye it? who knows what will come. idea please.

People do change, from bad to good, viceversa.

People do change, from ugly to pretty and handsome.

People do change, from wearing bermudas all the time, to just a few attempts in wearing dresses?

anyway, a good change I would say. (:

stop and stare ~

I feel like this now!

Rabbit Without Ears. woah.

Sunday, 11:45, Windy.

A day out with xiulai and mr.sawathikap.

Met aunty, and the daughter told her about the tarts and watch.

Cold-sweat. Seriously. Don't know how to react and reply.

Just silly smiles. haha.

Went for a movie, which xl is very excited about. Luckily not alone with mr.sawathikap,to zoo.

The outcome, mr.s getting excited and becomes a rabbit without brain, er, with extra uprised of hormone.

It was good, the movie. Silly yet entertaining. 'Bolt' next up hopefully.

mr.s keep complaining about I never ask him out. blardy hell.

Wong Kok hongkong cafe for dinner. Baked cheese seafood fried rice, and a glass of, urm, hongkong style milktea, in a bowl filled with ice. This should be the actual name in the menu if I'm the boss.

More realistic. Rather than those fancy names. That certainly gives false hope.haha.

On the train, mr.s gets excited again. shakes head lah.

On the journey home, talked with him about what to do after diploma.

Well, no idea yet.

Shall not think so much, and just do it.

step by step.

We Fish The Fakeshit. Subcrew. Brand new.

Again and again

Sunday, 8.44p.m, silent night.

Hm. Attachment going to start in few hours time.

Another long distance travel, for. 9 days I think.

Not really familiar with this term's skills. Nevertheless, will keep up with the pace.

Hope it will be a smooth one.

Mum went back. Everything back to normal.

Life? Full and packed. Hardly have any spare time for her.

Will make up for it, when I'm home. Promise. (:

Ohya, sakae with clique. Was a good one. Though the chawanmushi tasted like, fishsmell.

Well, enjoyed it, at least.

Saturday afternoon, spent with family, buffet at Intercontinental Hotel, Singapore.

It was great and filling. Wide variety of desserts, which I too busy eating,totally forgot to snap any pictures of them. and tons of yummy food.

Chinese, Thai Style, Nyonya, Western, you name it.

Met cousins over there. Which i hardly got a chance to meet them.haha.

Been busy with own stuff.

She's attached and same age as me somemore.

I'm a monk, but not bald and vegetarian. Mind you.hahaha.
hope to receive a significant other-half, for christmas. Wrapped in box or stuff into my socks.

Sunday, the usual anxiety comes back. I wasn't prepared at all. For tomorrow.
Go easy on me please, I hope? ohya, forgot to charge PDA.

what plant pineapple tree. lol.

ohshiesh. Remember something.

This is really my mummy.biological mummy.added me in msn.I laugh till peng!

ultra-belated birthday + early christmas gift for dumbass. thankyou for everything.coughcough.

SOLD.